Let me save you a couple of hours or Kaja's Matusow book review

Yeah, you read that post title right suckahs, I can read! I know most of my readers think I am some sort of terard who can't form sentences let alone read them, but once again, you were wrong, and I was holding the nuts. Deez Nutz!

Anyway, you can see I am in a swell mood. Maybe because I don't get any sleep anymore. Whoever invented babies and baby sleep cycles can kiss my ass. So I decided to save everyone a couple of hours of their abysmal lives by reading the wonderful literary masterpiece about Mike "The Mouth/Meth/Ecstasy/Coke/Ritalin Addict/Bipolar/ADHD Sufferer/Donkey/Luckbox" Matusow. That pretty much sums up the book right there. I'm done.

Ok, here are some more details. You people are ruthless. And toothless (you know who you are, so stop smiling with just the left side of your mouth).

The book is a very quick read. I mean, I am a slow reader and I finished it in about two bathroom breaks. Well one break was kinda long because I ate too much sushi, but that's a story for another time. I swear, some of Hoy's posts are longer than this book. And I guess, you can tell a couple of bloggers wrote it, because it reads like a "bad-beat/luckboxing-your-way-to-a-huge-score" kind of post (I would link again to Hoy, but he only gets one link per post. Sorry, my pagerank is zero so don't be trying to get links people. Talk to Google first).

Basically, Mike was a Jewish nerd (I can relate), anti-social, trailer park livin', video poker quarter-feedin' weirdo who stumbled into the poker world and a backing deal about a decade ago. Then he parlayed that into backing Scotty Baby when he won the WSOP ME. Then he got really depressed and couldn't call a doctor to diagnose his Bipolar Disorder (all joking aside, this disease is hell and I encourage anyone who has no idea why they are suicidal one day and ecstatic the next to go see fuckin' doctor, moron!). So some of his "friends" told him to take some ecstasy, cause it will make him feel happier (no shit Sherlocks). And then some bitch told him to take some meth to get him to focus (great piece of advice there). So he fried his brain for 3 years on this crap and got ADHD. Nice move, friends!

Long story short (it might be easier and faster to just read the book at this point, but you made it this far), he got tricked by some narc, got to spend some quality time in jail and kicked his street-drug habit by replacing it with prescription meds that make him happy and focused. Hurray for modern medicine and for Mikey. He also won a bunch of money along the way by playing the worst hand at the wrong time and sucking out. That's poker, right?

I do like Mike. A lot. I think he is a genuine character and would not hurt a fly. Well, he might hurt Mr. Peanut, but then again, who wouldn't? At least Mike is not masquerading around as some giant douche like Phil Hellmuth and is not trying to make everyone love him by being Mr. "Nice Guy" Negreanu.

And Amy and Tim who wrote the book are really great writers. So all that being said, go spend your hard earned $25 and buy Mike Matusow: Check-Raising the Devilto support these folks. It's $1 less than another stupid $26 tournament on FTP, so you're a winner already! I am so excited for you, I don't know what to say! If you liked my review, just send me that $1 as an FTP transfer to Kajagugu. Who knows, I might be able to retire after this post.